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Love without freedom isn't love!

Just typing the title out made me question whether in the last 24 hours I’ve given the people I love the freedom they deserve: there seems to be a lot of underlying bargaining going on. For the last three years, since we got a gorgeous little puppy, the rest of the family has been constantly reminded our youngest daughter to stop squeezing it. She loves it so much she gets her in a (gentle) headlock to shower her with affection. We have painstakingly explained that to the dog this is not love and this is why as soon as she gets the chance she legs it to the other side of the room. I often get the urge to squeeze my children, much to their horror, and know that this may satisfy a maternal need in me but won’t encourage them to let me hug them at a later date! There is a saying ‘if you love something set it free’ often with a tag line about it then coming back to you.

Freedom with conditions is still not freedom, nor is freedom given heavily laden with guilt or martyrdom

Love is often wrapped up in a need in us being fulfilled which is why a love we have not deserved is the most wonderful as it is given out of freedom.


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